While all this cuteness was snowballing, the reversion to childishness manifested itself in domestic candy sales, which rose significantly in 2008, even as consumers denied themselves other small pleasures in a worsening economy. Cadbury reported a jump in profits of 30 percent. Nestle’s increased by 10.9 percent.

At the same time, interestingly, the U.S. suicide rate was on the rise, following a long decline. According to the Centers for Disease Control, the number of U.S. suicides totaled 29,350 in 2000, which was the final year of the happy sex farce that was the Clinton presidency. In 2006, the last year for which statistics are available, 33,300 Americans offed themselves.